The Twelve Nights of Christmas, the journey concluded: Night 12, the Mechanics of Longing

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The title came as swiftly as the image and the artist obeyed both. The Mechanics of Longing.

This drawing concludes my twelve night drawing meditation. As the new year is already starting to make its demands, these drawings carry with them 12 nights of focus on a non-revealed question. Sometimes during those twelve nights I felt I could catch a glimpse of things yet to be. Now there will be time to look at these pieces for a while, maybe polish them a bit.I’ll keep you posted.

New artistic challenges are ahead for the year.

January 15th is the deadline for another Sketchbook Project of the Brooklyn Art Llibrary, check out the website if you haven’t yet. Their digital library is stunning.

http://www.sketchbookproject.com/library/13754 The link will take you to my previous year contribution “The Whisper”, a simple, wistful story about a childhood memory.

My new book, a young adult science fiction novel, is about to be finished and another one waiting to be continued on my desk.

In Fall I hope to open an exhibition of 41 canvases, acrylic on raw jute canvas (aka coffee and chocolate bags) in Berlin, 30 of which are finished by now. The 12 nights have strengthened my will to continue living in multiple universes.

Thank you for following my blog, this certainly  is the day to acknowledge that my readers are an important part of my creative discipline. It is a good thought that someone may be going to weigh the outcome of a night’s work and maybe find some use for it, if only in the fleeting way that art, all art, can enrich a moment.

I am wishing you, my readers, all the courage, health and gladness necessary to live a meaningful New Year and if you should be lacking any one of these for some of all of the time the will to give it your best shot anyways! 

someone’s watching you – privacy of data, an appeal / round two

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“Writers must oppose systems. It’s important to write against power, corporations, the state, and the whole system of consumption and of debilitating entertainments. I think writers, by nature, must oppose things, oppose whatever power tries to impose on us.  … You know, in America and in western Europe we live in very wealthy democracies, we can do virtually anything we want, I’m able to write whatever I want to write. But I can’t be part of this culture of simulation, in the sense of the culture’s absorbing of everything. In doing that it neutralises anything dangerous, anything that might threaten the consumer society. In Cosmopolis Kinski says, “What a culture does is absorb and neutralise its adversaries”. If you’re a writer who, one way or another, comes to be seen as dangerous, you’ll wake up one morning and discover your face on a coffee mug or a t-shirt and you’ll have been neutralised.” Don DeLillo (Panic #1, Nov. 2005, pp. 90-95.)

And is it not at the same time a cynical paradox and the hybris of writers, artists and maybe even lawyers, yes, now that I mentioned it, certainly lawyers as well, that in striving to be effective, successful, sharp, persuasive, unveiling, exposing, revealing, uncovering the workings of the machine we also strive for the kind of recognition that neutralizes our very effort. This is still the romantic idea of the individual rebel, the genius writer, the brilliant artist, a sly title afforded with societal approval by the very system that is being accosted, criticized and opposed just because this honor neutralizes, even castrates the very effort it lauds. Don DeLillo writes accordingly in Underworld that true proof of existence lies with the recorder not the recorded, the one who does not have a name but the authority to write the code which makes time tick. My words, his idea, by the way.

If you did indeed value the corrosive of your intellectual ability  you would choose to remain unknown behind a work that was known for its efficiency. you would not buy the idea of the genius writer who ends up on a t-shirt or, for that matter, on Facebook where you can democratically and to no specific end be approved of by the click of a button, but you would anonymously and in a group of like-minded minds labor towards the specific end of a realization of your ideas.

this is, coming round from yesterday’s etude on the privacy of data, another appeal to keep private if you can and claim the right and authority to do so.

multiplying y – the next night

IMG_5722 IMG_5723 IMG_5724 IMG_5725 IMG_5726 IMG_5727So I started multiplying y. Drawing the net pattern on the larger glass panes allows the rhythm of the pattern to emerge. I started with white on one side of the acrylic sheet and drew a loose knit-like pattern. Then I layered black organic lace-work on top. I drew about five hours, then I called it a night. But not before playing a bit with my new building block system of drawings, creating deep, three-dimensional images by arranging and rearranging different elements in front of a big mirror. You can see that the combination of smaller drawings getting “caught” in the net-pattern of the larger pane really works well. I have to finish the larger drawing, I think it will be another two to three nights. After that I want to try a wilder, more impulsive web of lines on a large sheet. What if …

Time is but the clockwork of a frightened heart

Time is but the clockwork of a frightened heart

Drawing on acrylic glass panes. It’s been about 6 months that these black and white, sometimes gold drawings keep evolving, taking up a lot of my time recently. Sometimes I almost despair of them because I don’t know where they are going, I don’t understand them the way I would like to and quite honestly they feel like a well disguised vice. Then again I feel they are too beautiful, too blank to be allowed to take up so much of my time. They started, simple enough, as a way to find back from painting to drawing for an illustration project. At first it was plain black marker on white paper. I had chosen marker because it allowed me not to think “small”, not to think “precious”, and as usual I was drawn to the ready availability and comparative cheapness of the technique which seems like a quality in itself to me. Now I am still using marker, but the creatures have freed themselves from paper, have migrated to glass panes, they cast shadows on walls and mirrors, they congregate to create 3 dimensional theatrical settings, and I still don’t know where this may lead me and why I still draw these night after night (instead of now taking up ink and the fine pens and engage in the illustration projects I had been meaning to prepare for). The saying “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans” seem to perfectly apply here. Some small insignificant but very persistent kind of original thought seems to defend its way against my larger ideas. Art is what happens when you are busy making other plans …

shadows rising, three-dimensional drawings on acrylic panes, not quite dancing – yet

After drawing meditation for 12 nights I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. Supposedly it was George Bernard Shaw who said that every fool can undertake fasting but only a wise can break it properly – and it might as well be applied to drawing meditation. Certainly I belong into the category of the fool, not that I had doubts about this before. The mind readily plows through grooves already established – and so the last few weeks after drawing meditation ended I have still been drawing most every night – and feeling kind of empty if I didn’t for once. I am not implying that drawing practice is a vice, but it is certainly not the result of an admirable discipline either that I have been sticking to it.

Certainly the nighttime indulges my overactive mind and allows the shadows – kept at bay during the day with the sober diet my legal enterprises as an attorney  offers – the nighttime allows these shadow a freedom that seems acceptable only as I catch them in some way. Paper seemed good enough during drawing meditation – though my paintings usually find spaces on raw, un-stretched materials like coffee sacks and sail cloths, wood and metal. Maybe it was just a question of time until the drawings too revolted against paper as a traditional medium.

Also, I was looking for the third dimension of my drawing beyond the obvious addition of ink to paper which – of course – makes for a third dimensions if only one cares to look close enough. But how to make the shadows dance in the room? How allow them to leave the paper and let them emerge into space as line and shadow? The answer was simple, even quite elegant, if by no means original. For the last ten nights I have been drawing on acrylic glass panes, 12 x 25 cm each. Each one of the panes is support for one protagonist in this emerging theater of rising shadows. I am planning to hang them by nylon strings and place a light in front of them to project their moving shadows on a light surface behind. For now, I am not done drawing and I would like to try out adding larger acrylic glass panes. During the next few days I will post drawings on acylic glass panes in no specific order. Multiple images have required the title of “brain on fire – no heart” and that is what I will most likely call this series. Hope you enjoy it.

12 nights – a favorite drawing

IMG_5366If I was to choose one drawing that I liked particularly in the flood of drawings of those nights it would have to be this pretty simple one. There were some much more sophisticated pieces, but this one, conceived towards the end of the 12 nights, is playful and relaxed in a way that convinced me that in the end there was a point to my practice. I wish I could hold on to that for a while longer, at least when I am drawing.

12 nights – more drawings …

 

 

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I guess my illustrations to some degree could either be read as a successful attempt to ban those thoughts that are accosting us when we try to engage in meditation by giving them form, or as a document of failure because all those thoughts that in meditation are to be let through were instead allowed to manifest themselves in a permanent form. One of the amazing aspects of art is surely that is demonstrates that our mind is always, ALWAYS, generating images and thoughts unless we dedicate some time to some sensual deprivation and allow the void to fill the crowded space of our anxious minds. As an artist I live by generating images, not necessarily by letting go of them. And yet there is a peaceful, non-goal oriented quality to these drawings and I can conjure up the spirit of those nights just by looking at them.